Your Life, Your Order

How do you take your coffee?

It seems like a simple question. But when I think about it, the answer has changed many times over the years.

When I was first old enough to reach for something warm and caffeinated, it was tea.

Familiar. Comfortable. Expected.

Then coffee entered the picture, likely in college, when everyone else was doing it. And from that point on, my morning cup became a constant.

What hasn’t been constant… is how I take it. I started with lots of sugar and cream, more like a coffee milkshake than anything else.

Then came milk instead of cream, whether driven by cost, availability, or simply what was on hand. At some point, I wanted more flavor, more of a “treat,” and mocha lattes entered the picture (thank you to the rise of specialty coffee shops).

Later, it shifted again to a “skinny” version, lighter choices, adjusting for how I felt and what my body seemed to need. And then, a return to simplicity… with a little creativity woven in. Cinnamon mixed into the grounds. Iced coffee in the warmer months. The occasional peppermint or gingerbread latte when I want something different.

These days? It’s usually a simple drip coffee with milk. Comfortable. Familiar. With just enough variation to keep it interesting.

And as I think about it… I’ve changed my coffee order more times than most women I talk to have changed anything in their lives. Let that land for a moment.

Because here’s what I’ve noticed, over and over again. Women who are:

• thoughtful

• capable

• deeply responsible

…are also quietly aware that something’s not quite right anymore and something needs to change. And yet, nothing changes.

Not because they don’t have options. But because:

• They’re used to prioritizing everyone else.

• They don’t want to disrupt what’s already working “well enough.”

• They’re not even sure what they would choose instead, so they stay with what’s familiar. What’s expected. What they’ve already ordered. Imagine walking into a coffee shop and doing that and ordering the same thing every single time… even if you no longer like it.

Even if it doesn’t quite hit the same. Even if something else sounds better. You’d probably change it without a second thought.

So why not when something doesn’t feel right in your life? This isn’t about blowing up your life. It’s about being honest enough to admit: This doesn’t feel like me anymore. And brave enough to ask: If not this, then what? The truth is… You’re not stuck because you don’t have choices.

You’re stuck because:

• You’ve stopped checking in with yourself

• You’ve normalized putting your preferences last

• You’ve been waiting for clarity to arrive… before making a move

In reality, clarity comes from the choice.

That’s the work I do with women. Not handing you a new “order.” But helping you:

• Pause long enough to notice what’s no longer working

• Reconnect with what you actually want

• Begin making small, intentional shifts that feel like you again.

You don’t need a dramatic change. But you do need to stop pretending nothing needs to change.